Initiation of Multiples: General Advice

You see commercials on television of a baby about four or five months old smiling in his freshly white diaper up at his mother - a gorgeous woman with perfect makeup and a pristine outfit. Or what about that advertisement that pops up on your computer of a mother taking an afternoon stroll with her singular baby that seems to fit perfectly in her carrier or wrap? Perhaps you decide to join a new parent’s class, with each person talking about the new milestone their little girl achieved or how their partner came home an hour late that evening.

What you don’t often see is two babies in those commercials and advertisements, a mother rocking one baby to sleep while simultaneously having another baby latch to her breast, and the tired mother who doesn’t get opportunity to rest when one baby or the other is always awake. 

Being a mother of multiples presents unique challenges. These include - but are not limited to - complications during pregnancy and birth, difficulty breastfeeding, increased postpartum mood disorders, isolation, and exhaustion. In this article, we will be talking about the latter - overcoming isolation, exhaustion, and taking care of yourself.

While these challenges can take a caring hand to assist, they are possible to overcome and create a more fulfilling life for your babies and yourself. 

My interest in the topic of birth, breastfeeding, and motherhood with multiples stems from a personal anecdote and the stories of my own mother. I am a twin myself. While my twin brother and I are now in our mid twenties, my mother will never forget the difficulty of raising two newborns while my father worked long hours.

While my mother navigated breastfeeding with complications, I was also pleased to listen to her experience on what has aided her, did not work for her, and what has stuck with her for many years. Before we delve into breastfeeding multiples in a future article, let’s talk about some points of advice on being the mother of multiples.

The first point of advice is to accept help. While this is relevant to all new mothers, it is especially important for mothers of multiples. If you have just given birth or have had a cesarean and are in for a longer hospital stay, turn to your postpartum nurses. As I am currently on my nursing journey to become a postpartum nurse, I realize the importance of their career and the vast array of education they possess. 

Postpartum nurses not only monitor, assess, and provide medications to you and your children, but many are IBCLCs (International Board Certified Lactation Consultants) or Certified Lactation Counselors. They can help you by kindly critiquing your positioning to get the best latch and guide dual feeding. They can also introduce many topics, some of which include bathing, swaddling, sleeping techniques, changing diapers, perineal, and cesarean care. As twins or triplets can be premature, postpartum nurses can also aid with complications that come along with preemies. Remember, this may be your first time having twins or triplets, but it probably is not their first time attending twins or triplets and their mother professionally. Take into consideration your postpartum nurse’s specialization in infants and mothers.

Perchance you have just been discharged. My mother once told me that the moment she and my father got into the car with us after being discharged from her week-long hospital stay, they burst into tears. They wondered who gave them the ‘license’ for being parents. We started crying in our new carseats in the back, and it was a car full of four crying humans. They had no idea how to calm down one baby, let alone two.

One thing that helped my mother and may help others upon hospital discharge is to hire a Postpartum Doula or Mother’s Helper. You have the option of someone that works during the day to aid in daily tasks and possibly household chores or the option of someone that works in the night so you can get that well-deserved rest. You can do both if you wish. It is worth it to save up some extra money for that first few weeks or even months after giving birth to multiples.

If money is tight or postpartum doulas are not for you, remembering the strength in asking for help. It is not weak to ask for help, but rather proudly demonstrating the life of a new mother to twins or triplets. It is your way of telling the world that being a new mother is difficult and being a mother to multiples is near impossible, but not impossible. You are overcoming those challenges and are strong enough to help your new babies by helping yourself. 

Ask a family member or friend. Go onto Nextdoor and ask a neighbor or ask for advice and experience. Join a Twins Club via Multiples of America, or find one on your own. If you are wanting help but cannot afford it, research programs such as WIC. You are never alone in this world, and feeling part of something or aided by someone can help tackle the isolation you may feel after birthing multiples. 

Do not neglect self care and invest in purchases that make your new motherhood simpler. For example, purchase an automated rocker or swing that can be easily moved to your bedroom, the nursery, or a place of safety for the baby. While one baby is rocking to sleep, feed the other one while lying down in your bed. Once your child is latched, you may choose to close your eyes and relax. This may not guarantee you a complete nap, but it can certainly assist in rest and relaxation.

Remember to have fun with your children. Try to go outside at least once a day, whether it is to the park or around the block. If you prefer wearing your babies on you, there are specialized slings that hold twins! One can be held on each side of your body opposed to the traditional hold in the front. There are a large variety of strollers for twins, triplets, and even quadruplets now-a-days. 

Choose a stroller that fits best with your budget, convenience, and lifestyle. There is no ‘best stroller’ as long as it fits your personal taste. Look at some in the store, read reviews, and form your own opinions.

Adjust activities for you and your babies without shame. For example, I am an avid admirer of mother-baby yoga. How can you adjust the positions you are doing to fit both of your babies? Perhaps you can alternate each baby with every new yoga position as well. Remember that the world is your playground and that you make your own rules about what works best for you and your family.

Lastly, I would like to mention some statistics about multiples and new motherhood. In the United states, nearly 3.1% of all births are twin births (about 1 in 32). While this is not an overwhelmingly high percentage, it is a percentage to be aware of and a large enough portion of our population to be concerned about and advocating for. 

We need to advocate for our mothers of multiples even more when we realize the prevalence of  PPMDs (postpartum mood disorders). Mothers of twins or triplets have a slightly elevated chance at having a PPMD and according to The National Library of Medicine for Canada, have a 1 in 100 chance rather than 1 in 1000 of a serious PPDM. 

As you finish reading this, if you are a new mother of multiples, I hope you can take away the importance of yourself and your babies rather than dismissing the ample amount of work it takes to raise them. Everything other mothers do, you do that times two (or even three)! Advocate for yourself, know your wants and needs, and know that simply existing exactly as you are and just showing up adds to the figureheads and representation of amazing mothers of multiples.

Now that we have covered the basics of self care and how to find help, stay tuned to learn about the basics of breastfeeding multiples in just a few short weeks!

Resources

Lapinsky, Stephanie C, et al. “Twin Pregnancy and Severe Maternal Mental Illness: A Canadian Population-Based Cohort Study.” Archives of Women’s Mental Health, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 26 Feb. 2023, pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36629920/#:~:text=In%20the%20first%20365%20days,%25%20CI%201.07%2D1.47). 

Elflein, John. “Twin Birth Rates U.S. by Age of Mother 2022.” Statista, Statistica, 29 Apr. 2024, www.statista.com/statistics/244917/twin-birth-rates-in-the-us-by-age-of-mother/.